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 Amamiya Clan

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Nisshoku

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Nisshoku


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PostSubject: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty28th March 2018, 4:22 pm

Amamiya Clan  Okwhnm
Name of the clan: Amamiya Clan.
Bloodline name: Branch of Sin (罪の枝, Tsumi no Eda).

Clan element/'s: N/A

Description: The Amamiya Clan is known as the clan of Mercenaries, there neither good nor bad. well known within all villages but mainly whithin Kirigakure.
Special characteristics/traits: Members of the Amamiya clan are born with the mark of the branch of Sins; every members has it placed in a different place from another.
History: The Amamiya clan is one of the oldest clan whithin Kirigakure. it was one of the first villages that came once Kirigakure was established by the Mizukage of it's time. members of the Amamiya clan are very proud of being part of Kirigakure since it was the village that accepted them in there time of need, the secret of the branch of sin was been passed bown threw generation within the clan and only the Mizukage know that and anyone else that have seen them in fights or tarining but other than that much people believe there just a regular clan from the old days.

Bloodline description:  The Branch Of Sin allows the user complete manipulation over their own blood; providing them with a number of benefits such as - but not limited to - immunity to poisons, venom and other such substances that target the bloodstream and a level of accelerated healing. Obviously, to heal multiple wounds, or otherwise fatal injuries, Chakra proportionate to the size of the wound is required to carry out the healing facilitated. While organ regeneration is possible, such an act drains the user tremendously, usually resulting in the hospitalization of the user for extended periods of time; and in some cases, death. When utilized and manipulated outside the body, the blood circles around the user in a manner similar to Jiton users. Even in this state, the manipulation requires a sizable amount of Chakra to control effectively. Another existing downside is that the user cannot create blood, nor control the quantity their body produces - something that leads many to consider the Kekkei Genkai to be all but useless, as the human body would be quickly drained of blood. As a work-around, users of this Kekkei Genkai carry with them blood pills that can quickly replenish their waning blood supply in battle situations. Some of the techniques made available by the Branch Of Sin can actually form iron weapons, namely swords, Kunai and other staple Shinobi weaponry due to the iron content in ones own blood. The user is able to replenish his blood back from a dead corps completely but can only replenish as much chakra as the user had at he's/her death. (once per topic.)

Plesuare Mode:
The Branch Of Sin has a very unique way to treat the user once he was passed limit in how much blood he can use before dying. Once the user has gone to 30% and below by himself using to much blood or losing to much blood by being attack the user goes into a frenzy known as Pleasure Mode or Bloodlusted where the user's blood become thicker, black and deadlier. The blood surrounds the user like an armor giving the user a different appearance overall and also increasing the users blood drive which increase his speed, strength, reaction, endurance for a limited amount of time. (4-5 post)
Bloodline weaknesses: The Branch Of Sin main weakness is Jiton, because the user mixes there blood and chakra with the iron from there body which allows Jiton users to extract the iron from the body which brutally drains the user blood and forces there blood to be rips from them killing them (This only work if a Jiton user makes physical contact with the user; All Jiton techniques are treated as 1 rank stronger against The Branch Of Sin.

Katon and Yōton are another elements that are considered strong against The Branch of sin. Because of there properties both Katon and Yōton Techniques of equal rank against The Branch of Sin can melt the iron from the blood and lower the user technique by 1 rank.

Please Mode can be a big drawback for the clan specially after it's been deactivated. the user decreases in all stats that where increase and he begins to vomiting blood which is not chakra infused at this state the user has 1-2 post to either, find a way to heal himself, escape a fight or take a blood pills.

Branch Of Sin Blood Amount:

    Genin/D-Rank - 180
    Chuunin/C-Rank - 240
    Tokujou/B-Rank - 310
    Jounin/A-Rank - 420
    Sannin/S-Rank - 540


Branch Of Sins Blood Cost:

    E-Rank: 5 
    D-Rank: 10 
    C-Rank: 20 
    B-Rank: 40 
    A-Rank: 80 
    S-Rank: 160 



Secret clan Jutsus: 
Spoiler:

Number of members allowed: 5 Members
Creators notes: Permission.


Last edited by Nisshoku on 8th April 2018, 1:03 pm; edited 9 times in total
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Merryweather

Amamiya Clan  LZy5BBF
Merryweather


Posts : 97

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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty28th March 2018, 5:30 pm

Nisshoku wrote:
A high rank ice user can cause the ice to drop below absolute zero and even able to freeze another shinobi that's two rank below the said user, also able to manipulate temperatures around himself and others, being able to decrease temperatures to fatal levels in seconds as well make himself as hard as diamons.

This is denied because it is too overpowered. I'd suggest breaking some of these perks (freezing other shinobi, decreasing the temperature of the surrounding environment, and making yourself as hard as a diamond to be separate ninjutsu. And even then they'd need to be toned down. The way you have it written here is that these abilities are innate and can be performed just by virtue of having the bloodline. That's a no go.
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Nisshoku

Amamiya Clan  K22nFUP
Nisshoku


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty28th March 2018, 6:17 pm

Sorry about that but fixed.
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Merryweather

Amamiya Clan  LZy5BBF
Merryweather


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty28th March 2018, 8:30 pm

No to dropping your ice release techniques to absolute zero. Again, something like this would need to be its own separate technique and even then its likely to be denied as absolute zero is probably a lot colder than you're thinking.
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@ Sinna Stark

Amamiya Clan  8wKG0sB
@ Sinna Stark


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty28th March 2018, 9:48 pm

This topic will be closed due to the face we already have a functioning Yuki Clan Here
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Nisshoku

Amamiya Clan  K22nFUP
Nisshoku


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty29th March 2018, 8:39 am

Well sorry for the Hassle but I changed the clan since Yuki is already made hopefully this is somewhat better.
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Merryweather

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Merryweather


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty30th March 2018, 1:05 pm

"Pleasure Mode increases the users Rank +1 above. (Pleasure Mode is active until either the user deactivate, faints, or dies)"

Do you mean their overall shinobi rank? If so that's denied.

"this ability also allows the user to replenish there chakra and blood back if and only once the target has been declared dead this only works with PC."

This is fine but add in that it can only be done once per topic.
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Nisshoku

Amamiya Clan  K22nFUP
Nisshoku


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty30th March 2018, 2:07 pm

This should be better.
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Merryweather

Amamiya Clan  LZy5BBF
Merryweather


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty30th March 2018, 2:35 pm

"Once the user unleashes his Pleasure Mode the user will be surrounded by his blood like a shield or armor this will proctect his from C-Rank technqiues (of equal or lower rank shinobies) including Katon, Raiton, Fūton, Jinton, Shōton, and Bakuton. "


Just put that it excludes the elements that this bloodline is weak against.


Pleasure Mode increases the users Speed and strength by 1 rank and allows the user to manipulate his techniques with one hand-sign except C-Rank and below. (This boost is temporary for 4 post.)

I think (hope) you mean except C-Rank and above.

And instead of manipulate you can just put "activate".
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Nisshoku

Amamiya Clan  K22nFUP
Nisshoku


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty30th March 2018, 2:49 pm

Fixed.
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Merryweather

Amamiya Clan  LZy5BBF
Merryweather


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty1st April 2018, 7:59 pm

Nisshoku wrote:
Amamiya Clan  24v4ljm
Name of the clan: Amamiya Clan.
Bloodline name: Branch of Sin (罪の枝, Tsumi no Eda).

Clan element/'s: N/A

Description: The members of this clan are known as bloodsheed warriors, there super secretive about there abilities unless pushed to used them. Each member has a unique way to dress but they all share the mark of Sins on there body like a tattoo.
Special characteristics/traits: The members of this clan are only distinguished once they go into Pleasure Mode there eyes become black and there pupil become red also there hair stands up and a constant smile on there face.
History: The Amaiya Clan was a clan that was created and founded by Orochimaru and a man known by Akito after the 4  Great Shinobi War. Orochimaru noticed that the man was able to fuse his chakra and blood as one. Orochimaru help him make that power his by experimenting with the man and the few members of the clan that where willing to help. after a few months Orochimaru finished helping the men but for a cuase to bring him the perfect body once they have gave birth to the perfect child that is capable manipulate there blood and chakra with out harming themself (meaning that the child must be able to manipulate there Kekkei Genkai threw there skin without having sustain any wounds) years passed after that and the man and the few members of the clan began to scarttered themself around the Ninja world going from Kumogakure, to Iwagakure, then Sunagakure, and also Kirigakure. They made there clan known all over the Ninja world as they were hired as spies, and Mercenaries, but regardless of that many members lived in villages as regular Ninja that knew love and hatred and stood as hero's and protectors of there nation's.

Bloodline description: The Branch of Sin (罪の枝, Tsumi no Eda) is the ability to control and freely move the users own blood, the user can manipulate his blood to form weapon for Short, Medium, and long range; able to create swords, hammers, scythes, shuriken, kunai, blades, arrows, bullets needles, blood bombs, webs and much more. The way this Kekkei Genkai works is by infusing the users chakra with there blood as they perform the necessary action, the chakra allows the user to manipulate there blood threw open wounds or the users mouth and threw there nails. this ability also allows the user to replenish there chakra and blood back if and only once the target has been declared dead this only works with PC. (Once Per Topic)

Pleasure Mode:
Pleasure Mode is achieved once the user has been dealt enough damage to the point of near death. Once the user unleashes his Pleasure Mode the user will be surrounded by his blood like a shield or armor this will proctect his from C-Rank technqiues (of equal or lower rank shinobies) excludes the elements that this Kkg is weak against . Pleasure Mode increases the users Speed and strength by 1 rank and allows the user to activate his techniques with one hand-sign except C-Rank and above. (This boost is temporary for 4 post.)
Bloodline weaknesses:


    •Because the users blood and chakra are so deeply infuse the user cannot manipulate any elements, Until B-Rank. •Once Pleasure Mode has been deactivated the user has 2 post until he faints. unless he's near death then he has 2 post to find a way to gain chakra and or blood. •Elements like Suiton, Futton, Yōton, Shakuton, Ranton act +1 rank above against The Branch Of Sins.



Secret clan Jutsus: 
Spoiler:

Number of members allowed: 5 Members .
Creators notes: Open.

Approved
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Midas

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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty2nd April 2018, 12:25 pm

I see the Deadman Wonderland clan on every site, and it's hard to balance sometimes. Luckily you formed it into weapon style - weapon creations (?).

Is there a number on how much blood each technique uses? Cause blood can be destroyed. You hit some blood cells with a fireball and they'll be unusable. Is that blood lost? How much blood does your character have in his body? Does he suffer while being low on blood?

For the history, I recommend coming up with a custom story. Orochimaru never existed in this world.

Quote :
The Branch of Sin (罪の枝, Tsumi no Eda) is the ability to control and freely move the users own blood
Does this mean blood can be used like Jiton? You can move your blood through the air like magic without a technique?

Quote :
Because the users blood and chakra are so deeply infuse the user cannot manipulate any elements, Until B-Rank.
This isn't a weakness. In fact, it doesn't make sense. Your chakra control has nothing to do with your rank.

Quote :
Elements like Suiton, Futton, Yōton, Shakuton, Ranton act +1 rank above against The Branch Of Sins.
This is kind of vague. Instead I would say something along the lines of "All Basic Elements are naturally more powerful than Branch of Sin. This does not mean a low level technique will beat out any Branch of Sin technique, but they can be considered somewhat stronger". +1 doesn't really mean anything right now.

Quote :
this ability also allows the user to replenish there chakra and blood back if and only once the target has been declared dead this only works with PC.
Why? Maybe if you could give some sort of justification as to why you'd replenish all your stuff? Where does the blood come from? And the chakra? Is there some sort of ritual with the corpse? Killing people automatically regens your reserves?

There are also a lot of grammar errors. Use this https://www.grammarcheck.net/editor/
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Sh1nsui

Amamiya Clan  YiM50Vl



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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty2nd April 2018, 2:18 pm

I'd just like to point out that techniques here of same rank, on LR, cancel each other out. Like, 2 b rank fireballs coliding, they might be different techniques but they end up stopping each other once they collide. So, i believe the +1 rank means that a B rank fireball colliding with a B rank technique from this clan would result in the fireball destroying this clan's technique and then continuing on to its target, leaving the fireball only slightly weaker (and this is where rp consideration and perspective come into play, but that's all up to the rpers in the topic and if need be a mod in said topic). I'll leave the rest to midas, but i agree on being clear on which elements are at an advantage rather than saying "such as"
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Nisshoku

Amamiya Clan  K22nFUP
Nisshoku


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PostSubject: Re: Amamiya Clan    Amamiya Clan  Empty8th April 2018, 12:57 pm

Changed up a bit the clan hopefully now it much better. Any questions or doubts feel free to ask.
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